North or South
by delos13
Summary: What can you give as a present to a King who conquered all the known world?


NORTH OR SOUTH?

A/N: While I was writing my previous story, Wedding Planner, and at the same time was trying to finish my story for Alexander Story gift exchange I thought it would be nice to write a sequel to Wedding Planner about the different gifts everybody brought to the wedding. Originally I thought it would be called Gift Registry. But as the story unfolded, I realized that there was a more perfect title, one that was in line with Too_Beauty wonderful series of Silly Drabbles (please, please, continue with them).

Pairing: Alexander/Hephaistion

Rating: depends on your imagination

Comments: will be treasured and cherished

"I don't know, Hephaistion," lazily said Alexander, "I think it's too much. We have to change at least these bed curtains. Something plain and simple. One colour. No pictures."

"No pictures?" charmingly pouted Hephaistion. He turned a little and brought himself into sitting position. Then he extended his hand and drew back the nearest hanging, "But these curtains fit so perfectly into the rest of this room decoration. I can easily envision you turning this bedchamber into reception hall. Ambassadors from all over the world…" Hephaistion was unable to finish the phrase as a bed pillow, hurled by Alexander, smacked him across the lips.

Hephaistion grinned, picked up the pillow and pretended to study it diligently. "Such an attention to details. Even in pillows. Bagoas really surpassed himself." Alexander moaned and put his arm over his eyes. It was too much to take, or was he getting old?

The wedding was the culmination of his dreams to make Hephaistion his spouse. Guests were invited from all over the world. The ceremony was beautiful, the feast was a huge success. Alexander tried not to drink too much and that was quite a challenge since everybody wanted to drink with him. Though he managed quite well, the same couldn't be said about most of the guests, especially towards the end of the evening. In their inebriated state they started to throw jokes that usually make bride and groom redden but both Alexander and Hephaistion decided to use it as an excuse to retire to bed. At that announcement, a new round of jokes was about to start when Bagoas appeared at the head of rather big procession of servants all caring torches. In a momentary silence he announced that it was time for both kings to retire to their new bedroom and those who wished to accompany them are welcomed to follow.

Quite a big crowd of drank and merry well wishers followed both kings with a slew of jokes heating the air in addition to the flames of the torches. Soon they arrived at the huge doors of the chamber that were hidden from view by the gilded drapes. Bagoas cut some strings and the drapes fell to the floor revealing plain wooden doors.

"With so much funds at your disposal, one would think that your renovation efforts will be more impressive", loudly stated Ptolemy.

Bagoas politely bowed. "I hope you'll find the interior more exiting." He motioned to the torchbearers, who approached the smaller doors cut inside the main gate-like portals. They stepped inside to light the bedchamber and to open the main doors from inside. Not suspecting anything unusual and eager to be left at last alone Alexander and Hephaistion entered the chamber accompanied by the big crowd of very drunken and very loud guests still competing at the lewd jokes.

And then there was absolute silence. Alexander swallowed hard and rather mechanically extended his right hand into which of the servants immediately placed a torch. The bedroom was quite big, and as far as his eyes could see all the walls were decorated with very masterfully painted scenes from the famous book he brought back from his first trip to India. Brief and cautious look at the ceiling confirmed his suspicion that that part of the room didn't escape Bagoas' renovating efforts either. Alexander couldn't see what the floor looked like but it didn't matter since it was completely covered with the beautiful rugs that depicted the images that were in full harmony with the rest of the room. A couple of chests and three legged chairs were carved perfectly in tune with the whole theme of the room.

Everybody was too absorbed in staring at all the images to notice the soft flute music that started as if from nowhere. Equally, nobody paid any particular attention when Olympias' favorite white snake slithered from her arm into the rug. Until that same snake started to glide up one of the bedposts. Only then it registered in Alexander's mind what shape all four bedposts were made into. The snake tentatively and slowly continued to weave itself around the post. When it reached the middle of the post it started to dart her tongue out and lick it. Helpless collective moans of his guests vaguely registered somewhere at the back of king's mind. Arriving at the end of her journey, the snake posed momentarily and after swirling her tongue several times around the tip of the post, widely opened her jaws and tried to swallow the end of the post. Realizing that the prey was harder than usual, the snake drew back and then tried again. And again. And again. Each new attempt was more vicious and faster then the previous one. The last effort made the whole body of the snake shudder and she reluctantly abandoned her pursuit. But she wasted too much of her strength and instead of gracefully sliding back the post she hang limply from it.

Alexander vaguely remembered Hephaistion saying something about not recalling approving this part of the entertainment and Thais inquiring about the availability of the decorators and snake charmers. All in all, everybody agreed that after seeing the bedroom where the two newly wed kings were going to spend their wedding night there was no point to continue with jokes and they better withdrew.

"Alexander," Hephaistion slightly poked his beloved with his index finger under the rib, "did you fall asleep?"

"No, I was just remembering seeing this room for the first time. I think Bagoas went a little too far. This bedroom will be the talk of the town."

"Only the town? I bet by tomorrow morning you'll be overflowed with requests to see this room again."

"I do not intend to be up by tomorrow morning. Can't people leave us alone for some time? Did you see to it that we wouldn't be bothered?"

"Yes, yes, but don't you know about the tradition that one has to show appreciation for the received gifts by showing them to everybody?"

"I know that tradition, and if it's followed, you will be the one showing off all the gifts! How come that people gave you so many presents and I received almost none?"

"Doesn't this room count?"

"Yes, this room counts. But what else? When I saw that magnificent Arabian horse, I was sure it's gift for me. But it was for you. From Krateros! Since when you are such good buddies?"

"You wanted us to be friends, remember?"

"Yes, but why I didn't get a horse?"

"May be because Krateros thought that no horse can outshine Bucephalus?"

"Krateros became so political, he spends too much time with you. I don't understand, what can you two talk about for so long?"

"Alexander!"

"And that favorite flutist of yours! Why Eumenes gave him the best rooms in the palace?"

"Eumenes still felt guilty for arguing with me about his accommodation in Ecbatana. You took his side then, by the way."

"Yes, I did. Because he was right. Then. But he is wrong now! And Thais. I burned Persepolis down, and she gives the model of the whole city to you!"

"Yes, one actually has to build the model from small blocks following the picture. She knows that I like building. Besides, it's a wooden model. I guess she was concerned that you would get frustrated, throw a tantrum and burn the model as well."

"It was she who instigated the burning of the palace in the first place as a revenge for her beloved Athens! And Roxanne! Why did you conspire with Roxanne?"

"I didn't conspire with her! Why would you say so?"

"She gave me to give you the exact copy of the ring you brought me on my and Roxanne wedding night! You told me it was one in a kind!"

"It was one of the kind. I have no idea how Roxanne managed to duplicate it. But isn't it nice that we both have now the same rings?"

"Yes, it's nice," sadly conceded Alexander.

"Alexander," Hephaistion took his spouse hands in his and looked tenderly into his eyes, "it is true that I received beautiful presents today from many people, but the most magnificent gift was from you. Not only we have this wedding, but you also made me a king. You really didn't have to do it."

"It wasn't a gift. It was a practical decision. I conquered all the known world, from Pillars of Hercules, to Egypt and the entire continent below, to China. But you rule it. Besides, you have a son, I have only four girls."

"Alexander, all your three wives are still young and can bear you many sons."

"No, my love. I don't have a stomach for my wives anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That is, if you have any time to spare for me."

"Oh, what is that talk?" Hephaistion grabbed Alexander's hand, slid down the bed and tugged his spouse with him. "You're so sad because I was given all those presents. But you didn't see my gift yet! Look." And with those words he went to one of the chests, opened its doors and took out a big scroll.

"Come closer. It's the map of all the lands you conquered." Hephaistion untied the scroll and fixed the loose end with heavy figurine. He unrolled two thirds of the scroll and put another figurine to keep it in place. "Come, see for yourself. Isn't it a beauty? Don't you love it?"

Alexander came closer and looked on the map. So many nations, cities and countries to reign over, but there is nothing left to conquer and people look now to Hephaistion who was an excellent ruler.

Hephaistion came behind Alexander, put his arms around the king waste and lean his chin on Alexander's shoulder. "So, do you like my gift?" he whispered softly into Alexander ear.

"Yes, I like it," rather gloomily responded Alexander.

"Hey," and Hephaistion tickled Alexander's neck with the tip of his nose, "you didn't even see all of it, how do you know for sure?"

"What is there to see?" Alexander shrugged his shoulders, "those are the countries I conquered, I know them all too well, here are the Pillars of Hercules, " the king pointed with his finger at the left edge of the map and then continued to the right, here is Pella, here's Babylon where we are, further India, other tribes and China, and islands to the right, and at the end of the Oikoumene, Ocean," and to make his point Alexander unrolled the end of the scroll.

The paperweight that was holding the end of the map fell to the floor as Alexander grabbed the end of the table and stared at the map.

"What's, what's this?" whispered Alexander.

"This? This is a huge problem, my love," merrily laughed Hephaistion.

"Problem?" incredulously asked Alexander.

"Yes, my love, now you have to decide, do we start with the North or with the South?"


End file.
